Monday, January 30, 2017

House and Health Update

First off, I just want to say THANK YOU to everyone who read, commented, texted, called or messaged me after the last post I published. Although it was probably the toughest thing Billy and I have been through so far in our lives, not talking about it was never really an option for me. It's too common, yet discussed so little. If you shared your story with me, know that it comforted me to know I wasn't alone, even though it can feel so isolating. 
As for how I'm feeling... Physically, I'm doing pretty well. I have my post op appointment on Thursday, so I'm anxious to make sure everything healed the way it was supposed to and know for sure that I don't need a second surgery. I'm still struggling emotionally. Some days I'm fine, some I'm not. I'm struggling with severe anxiety (I've got a whole post about this coming) and panic attacks. Some days I get by without crying at all, some days I cry all day and don't want to get out of bed. It's a process and I know that but sometimes the voices in my head are louder than logic. 
My girl makes me smile even when I don't want to. I love her more than words could ever express. 

Moving on from that, let's talk about the house! If you've been following from the beginning, you know that our estimated move in date would have made it so that we would have been packing up and moving this week. Well, I'm typing this from my apartment, so THAT didn't happen ;). We knew things were delayed pretty significantly right around the same time we found out I was miscarrying (insert 'when it rains it pours' reference here). There was a big material delay (drywall, I think) that was going to set us back almost two months. We were bummed, but not too concerned because the lease to our apartment isn't up until March 18th. However, based on a couple of conversations and that we still don't have an exact closing date yet, we are pretty sure we will be moving twice... once into my parents house when our lease is up at the apartment and then into our house when we close. Not ideal, but we are thankful that we have that option! For now, I'm focusing on packing, de-cluttering and selling all of the stuff we aren't taking with us. 

I am so anxious to get to the new house and feel settled. Truth be told, the apartment, while the best option for what our end game was, never truly felt like HOME. And since I work from home, it can feel VERY suffocating. And right now, I feel like I can't breathe here. 

We drove past the house the other day and were pleasantly surprised to see our drywall up! They've done a lot of work to the outside of the house, too! We know we are getting close and are so, SO excited! 






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